She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
