I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
