...so i touched it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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