I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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