there's paper in my vomit.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
