There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
