I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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