when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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