I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
