My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
