the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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