It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Boobs speak an international language.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
