You smell like stripper and shame
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
