C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
