It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
