Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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