Can i not drive my cunt home
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
