i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
