You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
