it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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