We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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