Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
