eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
