u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
