The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
