when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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