The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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