Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
