Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I got chris browned last night
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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