You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Blood and glitter go together right?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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