the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
