Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
