Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I have tasted many bathrooms
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
