My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
