This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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