discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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