so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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