Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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