that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it's like iHOP with fire
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
