the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
