So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
