you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
