never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
