There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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