I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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