I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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