There was a lot of him and a little penis
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
