Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
