clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
