Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
